Mentor's Checklist-How are we doing?

How are we doing? Well, my mentee and I have been meeting about at least one hour every other week. We definitely have enough trust to work together because we had a relationship prior to this new mentor/mentee relationship. I have found that I must keep a delicate balance between the time we spend dialoguing about technology and dialoguing about our regular work day. What has made this somewhat easier is that I always talk about technology with her the day after her class. I think that she is happy with our relationship. When she is upset with me, it is usually about something unrelated to me, but sometimes it gets taken out on me. She has a very strong personality, so I have had to learn how to work with her and blow her off when she is in a foul mood. I find it difficult to talk about my feelings with her because she tends to be very self-centered and this just adds a dynamic to our relationship that I don't think belongs. I do feel like we have made headway in trying to meet the goals of our mentor/mentee relatioship. I didn't except her attitude to change as much as it has, but this is probably the most important change that needs to take place. The five things that are going well in our relationship are:

1. Change of attitude toward technology
2. Change of perspective of how to learn new technology
3. Focused conversations on what she is learning
4. Understanding delicate balance of knowing when to speak and when to listen
5. The power of gentle encouragement

I think that the one thing I would change about our relationship has nothing to do with the mentor/mentee aspect of our relationship. I need to learn how to delegate things to her like how she delegates things to me. You see, there is always a giver and a taker in every relationship. I am the giver and she is the taker. I try to apply the Golden rule in life and treat others the way I want to be treated. Although, my mentee also believes in that, she also believes that if you aren't doing her a favor, then why would she go out of her way to do a favor for you? Her requests are sublte and they just fall into the pattern that has been set between us. When I do try to stand up for myself, it doesn't seem right and I am awkward. Ultimately, I try to do the right thing and not base my actions upon hers. This is not an easy question for me to ask her, so I think I would rather not. I don't know if it is the female-to-female conflict or if it is just the giver and taker relationship that bothers me so much, but I do know that we do mange to put together a pretty fantastic Fifth grade team.

If I could guess what she likes about working with me I would have to say that she likes the fact that I work hard, I have integrity, and I am a giving person. She likes my willingness to help her in any situation and my consistently of being well-organized.

Sometimes I think my mentee wishes I would be more mean like her. She tends to be very heirarchial in her class and is very intense with her students. I am just not like that. It is not my personality and it isn't my style to get into a student's face. Especially, now that I have two sons, I always try to think about how I would want their teacher's to treat them.

I hope I am not sounding like I'm this fantastic person and my mentee is this cold-hearted person. We are just different, but somehow we manage to "pull it off" with good test scores and happy parents at the end of every year.

Our new relationship is not suffering because of these other issues, these are just normal. I know that this experience is teaching me to be a stronger person and to not let others push me around.